, bulan

Sulit sekali mencuri perhatianmu, bulan.
Lama aku berjalan dan berputar-putar mengelilingi malam-malam yang biasa kau kunjungi.
Namun tak selalu pula kau datangi mereka, malam-malam itu dan semua isinya.
Pun kalau kau datangi, tak pernah juga kau melihat ke arahku yang selalu menari-nari di sekitarmu.

Aku selalu menatap ke arahmu.
Berharap penuh rasa bahwa cahaya yang kau pancarkan hanya untukku.
Tapi sepertinya aku harus meluaskan hati seluas ambang batas terjauh berpendarnya cahayamu.
Merelakan pelan-pelan terhapusnya pikiran bahwa kau mengirimkan terangmu hanya untuk gelapku.
Mengandaskan keinginan bahwa kau hanya ada untukku.
Dan untuk seterusnya harus mampu menyadari kau tidaklah bisa hanya untukku.

Matahari sering menasehatiku untuk melupakan dan pergi saja darimu, dia seringkali melakukannya.
Aku mendengarkannya dengan baik, ku coba mencerna semua perkataannya, kupahami, kusimpan dalam laci-laci di hati dan pikiranku, tapi tak pernah berpikir untuk melakukan apa yang dia katakan padaku.
Paling tidak untuk saat ini.
Namun bila mungkin suatu saat aku merasa benar-benar tak ada lagi ruang malam yang tersisa untukku, bahkan untuk sebelah telapak kakiku pun, mungkin aku memang harus merenungkan ulang nasehat-nasehat sang matahari padaku.

Bulan,
Sadarilah aku,
Lihatlah aku,
Hadirlah hanya untukku.

___________

Say you're sorry
That face of an angel
Comes out just when you need it to
As I paced back and forth all this time
Cause I honestly believed in you
Holding on
The days drag on
Stupid girl,
I should have known, I should have known

I'm not a princess, this ain't a fairy tale
I'm not the one you'll sweep off her feet,
Lead her up the stairwell
This ain't Hollywood, this is a small town,
I was a dreamer before you went and let me down
Now it's too late for you
And your white horse, to come around

Baby I was naive,
Got lost in your eyes
And never really had a chance
My mistake, I didn't wanna be in love
You had to fight to have the upper hand
I had so many dreams
About you and me
Happy endings
Now I know

I'm not a princess, this ain't a fairy tale
I'm not the one you'll sweep off her feet,
Lead her up the stairwell
This ain't Hollywood, this is a small town,
I was a dreamer before you went and let me down
Now it's too late for you
And your white horse, to come around

And there you are on your knees,
Begging for forgiveness, begging for me
Just like I always wanted but I'm sooo sorry

Cause I'm not your princess, this ain't a fairytale
I'm gonna find someone someday who might actually treat me well
This is a big world, that was a small town
There in my rearview mirror disappearing now
And its too late for you and your white horse
Now its too late for you and your white horse, to catch me now

Try and catch me now
Oh, it's too late
To catch me now



(white horse_taylor swift)